Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving turned out to be such a wonderful day! Erik joined us for the first time in like 10 years (we tried to do both or split it the first few years and it just didn't work out...we've had separate Thanksgivings since. Because of the crap his brother is pulling, he made the decision to come with me this year). There were 16 of us and the only ones missing were the two nephews Ty and Jared who are both in the military and were missed very much! There was a lot of conversation and laughter. :-) We really had a good time!
(I know it was hard on Erik though. Thanksgiving is especially difficult for him because of the death of his mother four years ago on the 29th of November. She is still very deeply missed by all of us).

One of the things that happened that was...(I don't know if I should use the word funny or...I don't know what word to use here because although everyone laughed, at the same time I know that each and every one of us had a variety of emotions that went through us)...my mom, who I mentioned before has alzheimer's...ok...wait a minute....before I go any further I have to mention that my sister, sister-in-law and I BEGGED my parents to let us handle Thanksgiving this year and they absolutely would not give in....we have actually been arguing with them for months about it and finally gave up. We did manage to get everything but the turkey and dressing taken off their hands (although that's what we were fighting them so hard to let us do...they just wouldn't let us). S' anyways...I called my parents on Tuesday after work to ask a quick question. My mom got on the phone and said "Ronda...I have to tell you this because I know your dad is just dying to tell you so I'm going to tell my side of the story.

The first Thanksgiving dinner I made when your dad and I got married 51 years ago...Ronda...you know how to make stuffing, right? You have to cook the celery and onion in butter before adding to the bread...right?!?! (I said...yeah)....mom: well, I didn't know that and the stuffing wouldn't hold together and the celery and onions were crunchy. It was terrible. I learned the next time what to do. So..51 years later...today to be exact...your dad came home from work and I was so proud that I had everything ready for him to help me stuff the turkey. I had the celery and onions all mixed in the bread and ready to go. Your dad asked if I cooked the celery and onion. I said no. O_o. So your dad and I have spent the last 45 minutes picking through the bread and pulling out all the celery and onions." My mom was laughing her ass off while she was telling me about it and when we were all sitting around on Thanksgiving and it was brought up...everyone laughed...but you could see the look of worry all the way around. I will say this though....they both agreed they don't want to do it anymore. FINALLY!

I guess I look at it this way, my mom doesn't realize what's going on..or if she does, she refuses to face it. If she can laugh at herself, or if she just thinks it's silly...then fine...so be it. I would much rather she be laughing than crying.

So...get this...Erik has been trying to figure out what to get me for Christmas. We don't always buy for each other, but since he got that there Samsung watch of his...he said to consider that his Christmas gift and if there was something I wanted, let him know. I had honestly not been able to think of anything..I was looking at watches..but nothing really popped. So, after dinner on Thursday, my mom handed each of us, (my sister, brothers and I) an envelope. Turns out, that my grandma (who died two years ago)...her estate was finally settled and each of the brothers was given a little money and my parents took half of their amount and split it between the four of us.

We're not talking a fortune here...we're talking a few hundred dollars. AWESOMESAUCE!!! So, then my mind goes from a watch, to maybe a Kindle Fire!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!! Well, on Friday morning, Erik and I did some research trying to figure out what would be better....a Kindle Fire, an IPad or a Samsung Note 10.1. I finally decided on the Note 10.1, which I am typing on right now and is most awesome! Now the funny part. The reason I chose the Note was because I felt it could take over enough for my laptop that we could sell that to make up a little of the difference in cost. Erik thought that was a great idea.

So, I spent a good part of yesterday clearing off my laptop while Erik set up my Note. (I had gone right out to Best Buy yesterday and gotten the Note 10.1 2014 32GB). Last night, we were watching TV and I was on my laptop and we heard this loud whirring sound. We're both like...what the hell??? My laptop blew a fan!!!! Erik can't even get it to turn on right now!!! Seriously!?!? What are the odds??? Just too funny!!! So, he's going to fix that and sell it. In the meantime...I am not without computer power!! This thing ROCKS!! As does my most awesome husband!! ;-)
Tomorrow we're putting up decorations and I'm fixing us our own little turkey dinner and gonna watch the Bears game! Oh...by the way...still sober! ;-)

Take care and God bless! :-)

Epiphany

I’m very upset right now and I’m trying to keep my temper and my language to a reasonable level. We have an anonymous person that keeps posting to my husbands post that I’m 99% sure who it is. I could be wrong, but because of certain wording…I’m pretty sure. Saying that I am correct I would just like to say a couple of things.

You seem to think that my husband and I brag about the things that we have and we do nothing to help or to give to other people. Not that it’s anybody else’s business, but first off…what my husband and I have we have worked our fingers to the bone for and if there is something we want and we can get it…we will. Second, if we want to give everything we have away, we can choose to do so. We have given many things away to people…family, friends and strangers alike. My husband has also given his time freely to help people with computers and such because that is what he is good at. I have given my time at food pantries, I’ve made up bags with hats, mittens, toys, toothbrushes, etc., for the last few years and given them to shelters. I’ve given several items to homeless shelters including food and clothing.

I say prayers all the time for those in need and if you are who I think you are, I have on two separate occasions said a prayer that God take my life instead of your wife because her son needed her. Since I have no children I felt it was more important that I be taken instead of her. Yet she thinks I’m an EVIL person. Because I don’t throw my whole life out there for others to see (until now)…doesn’t mean that I don’t care and just because I’m an alcoholic (recovering), doesn’t make me a violent, terrible person. I have my own demons that I have dealt with my entire life, but I don’t make them who I am. I don’t let them make me a victim to the circumstances.

I’m going to let you in on a few secrets…yes, I know this is a public blog, but at this point I don’t care…I’m not ashamed of who I am. When I was two years old I had almost all the skin ripped off my right arm and breast from a coffee burn accident. I have scars…but that’s not who I am. When I was 6 years old, I was molested by a janitor at the school. I never told my parents or anyone about it until about two years ago, but it wasn’t who I was or who I am. When I was in the Army I was raped…twice! Once by two MP’s and once by a guy I was dating but I was blacked out and it was in a room full of people. I was embarrassed and ashamed and I never turned anyone in or told anyone about it until recently. It was not who I was or who I am. I refused to let them make me a victim.

It wasn’t until yesterday that for the first time in my life I realized a had allowed myself to be a victim and that was when I had my miscarriage and was not able to have children afterwards. My anger towards my husband and myself was bad but my anger toward God was unyielding! I stopped talking to God for three years. I lived in a deep black hole and during that time I gained 100 pounds and don’t remember hardly anything. I just remember being angry. It took years for me to deal with this and it wasn’t until just recently over the last few years of counseling that I’ve come to grips with everything. Unfortunately, in the process, I had also become chemically dependent on alcohol. That started really when our niece was taken from us after staying with us a few months and given back to her drug addict parents. This was like an epiphany to me yesterday morning….it dawned on me that all these years of fighting against being a victim, I had made myself a victim of my circumstances. So, now I’m pissed! I will be going forward on from here. Things are going to change….I am no longer going to feel sorry for myself, or envious of people with children and grandchildren. I love my nieces and nephews to death and will continue to spoil them rotten whenever possible.

If in the end, I have no one but myself and a bunch of dogs and cats surrounding me and I die with them eating me to survive…that’s okay!! So long as they’re ok till someone gets to them. ;-)

Ok…I’m not pissed anymore…feel much better. :-) Anonymous…screw yourself!

Take care and God bless ya’ll!! ;-)

I should file for disability!! >-/

Why not?!?!? Everyone else is! I use my fingers for typing and it's getting harder and harder for me because I'm losing blood every minute from PAPER CUTS!!! I feel faint...alas! Woe is me!!

See what I mean?!? I NEED MY FINGERS PEOPLE!!

Why shouldn't I be able to get other people to pay for me to live my life? Why should I have to work to pay for them?? It's so NOT FAIR!!

I think, I should at least get workmans comp...come on now!

Sigh...well at least I have pretty purple Herbie the Dinosaur bandaids to heal the hurt. ;-) hehehe!!

Take care and God bless! :-)

Love this time of year!

This is my favorite time of year! Love the crisp cool air and the colors of the leaves! We usually have a lot going on with birthdays and holidays all mixed in together.

Halloween is over! Been busy and haven't had a chance to post some pics. We didn't go all out this year...it was raining so I didn't put everything out...just simple things. It was enough though that it kept a little girl from coming to the door for candy. Her big brother came and got her candy for her. It was so cute! I think this is the one that got her:

She wouldn't walk past it. We had a 'tween' tell us we still had the best on the block. I was surprised actually, we didn't put out even HALF of what we normally do. But that's cool! Had over 400 pieces of candy with only about 40-50 pieces left. It was a good evening.