She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add es
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck.."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
Have a good weekend!
Take care and God bless! :-)
Friday, January 31, 2014
We could all use a could chuckle on Friday morning...right?!? :-)
Thursday, January 23, 2014
I have a very dear childhood friend, Kathy, who just recently found out she has breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy yesterday and will be starting chemo most likely in 2-3 weeks that will go on for a year. My husband and I went to the hospital last night to see her and she’s doing very well and it didn’t go into her lymph nodes which was a huge worry. Thank God!! What shocks me is that they’re sending her home today! WTF?!?!? She had the surgery yesterday!! Not just the double mastectomy but also breast reconstruction surgery! She has 4 drainage tubes coming out of her! After my gastric bypass I only had one drainage tube and it was a pain in the ass. Four has got to suck!!! Yes…I am using a lot of exclamation points here because I’m still in shock that they’re sending her home after such major surgery!!
Anyway…we have known each other since the fourth grade and grew up together. She got married shortly after graduation to her high school sweetheart and they are still happily married with two grown children and a grandson. I went into the service a couple months after their wedding and married my first husband shortly after I got out of the Army. Kathy and I kind of went our separate ways…not intentionally…it just kind of happened. We saw each other a couple of times, but in general, it wasn’t until my second marriage 14 years ago that we started getting back in touch. It's only been a few times though but we have been keeping in touch on Facebook.
When I found out about the cancer, I don’t even know how to describe my feelings. Fear and panic were the top ones I guess. I have seen and talked to her more in the last month than I have since our childhood. One of the things we have both been going back and forth over is the regrets we have of not staying in touch. We have both had memories come flooding back of growing up together and realized just how much fun we had and how much we’ve missed each other. We’ve promised each other that it’s going to change. It’s amazing what cancer can do. It’s just so sad to me that that’s what it took to get us to realize how important we were/are to each other. I love her dearly and when she starts losing her hair from the chemo….I’m shaving my head! That’ll be something new. J
Take care and God bless!