Hi All! :-)

It's been quite a while since I've blogged.  I really need to get back into this. 

I had my gastric bypass surgery on March 13th.  I came back to work yesterday (March 26th)...and I'm tiiired!  Erik has been keeping me up to date with his blog and the kind responses from everyone concerning my surgery and all I can say is Thank you!  The hard part is over...now on to healing and going forward with a healthier lifestyle.  For me and hubby!! 

I've had pretty much a year of thinking and contemplating and crying and seeing my nutritionist and psychologist along with family and friends that were both supportive and undecided.  (Or even worse...extremely opinionated without doing any research or just hearing from a 'friend of a friend' how this or that didn't work). 

During this past year, I've learned that sometimes you just have to do what you feel is right...in your gut!  (lol...figuratively and literally in this case! :-) ).  This wasn't an easy decision to come by.  Yes, I've heard of the nightmares and complications in some cases.  I've heard of people dropping the weight, then in time, gaining it back.  (Singer Carnie Wilson for one example had the gastric bypass, lost the weight, gained it back and is now having the lap-band done).  She admits that she went back to her old ways.  I've been finding out more and more that people that go through this have not followed up on what they are supposed to do.  This includes counseling, support groups, exercising and of course, eating healthy. 

I know a person who is a friend of the family that went through the gastric bypass just a few months ago and she is now at a point that she can pretty much eat whatever she can tolerate.  She's dropping weight regardless of what she eats and she is gloating to everyone how thin she is getting and can eat whatever she wants.  THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!  Right now, she's like in a honeymoon phase.  Once she hits the end of that, if she continues at the rate she's going, she's going to gain all her weight back.  She hasn't gone to any follow-up appointments with her doctor, she isn't taking her vitamins, she's doing nothing she's supposed to do.

I just don't understand how anyone can go through the psychological classes, all the testing, and the surgery (including the pain afterwards), basically being on a liquid to soft food diet for almost two months and spend almost $30k (depending on your insurance coverage) and not at least make an attempt to follow-up on everything you've just gone through.  It's one thing to go on a diet and maybe not follow through with that...this is something completely different.  I understand that the surgery is just a tool to help you, but it's a MAJOR life-changing tool!

I know I might have some setbacks in the future and I know I have to be careful.  Like right now...the smell of food, ANY FOOD, makes me drool...but I can't eat it.  I know I'll go through my own 'honeymoon' phase, I just have to make sure that I go to my classes with the psychologist and to the support group and talk online to people going through the same thing.  I have to do this!  It's vital to my life now!  My biggest fear these last few years is that I would have a stroke or drop from a heart attack.  I don't want to do that to my husband if I can help it.  I love him too much!  I have to start loving myself now. 

Speaking of hubby...he has been absolutely AWESOME during this whole thing and I have so much to be grateful for.  Thank you Erik for loving me and standing by me through everything.  I love you honey!  ;-)

Facing the Truth

The key truths that people must seek out are those elements of self that define them as individuals—who they really, truly, finally and irrevocably are, deep inside. And in order to do that, they must rid themselves of illusions about all manner of forces that have distracted them and made them afraid, including traumatic experiences from childhood that made them worry about how punishing the world can be, as well as relationships with others who convinced them to abandon their deeply held beliefs or interests.

They must, essentially, reawaken some of what they were born with—the God-given, inexplicable, ultimately undefeatable capacity to move in the direction of their own, unique interests, abilities, beliefs and dreams.

This is why the image of Christ on the cross is such a powerful one.
...
Christ doesn’t give up his core self for anything.

He doesn’t surrender it even when he is in terrible pain on the cross, wondering if he is totally alone.

He doesn’t pretend that those who have hated him for his beliefs are his friends.

He doesn’t fool himself into thinking that they love him.

He doesn’t down three scotches because of the gathering storm that will take his life.

He doesn’t eat himself into oblivion.

He doesn’t change his appearance at the plastic surgeon’s office in order to avoid his persecutors or reality.

He doesn’t inject himself with heroin to kill the pain in his hands.

He doesn’t Tweet nonsense about his daily routine to people who say they’ll follow him when they really won’t and never intended to, anyhow.

He doesn’t even let hatred for his oppressors, in the final moments of his life on earth, cloud his vision of who he is and why he has come here.

This is precisely what is required of people who really want to find themselves. Because the way we lose ourselves is by turning away from realities that seemed too painful to bear as we grew up: people who insisted we abandon our feelings, our sense of right and wrong, our talents, our opinions, our most heartfelt goals, our likes and dislikes, our hopes for unconditional love.

This giving up of self is what causes all the suffering. It causes us to be depressed. It causes us to be anxious and panic. It causes us to seek all manner of self-defeating distraction. It even causes us to hear voices and see visions generated by our own thoughts boomeranging back to us as hallucinations because we have denied them an audience in our conscience minds. They’re too threatening, so we disown them, and then they own us.

The fact that Christ is resurrected is a powerful fact for anyone seeking to restore themselves to well-being—to life. Because in order to achieve a spiritual or psychological rebirth, you must be willing to abandon all the psychological defenses that have kept you from seeing your life story for what it has been. That is including the fact that some people you very much hoped would love you did not love you. That your hopes that the world would be predictable were dashed by unexpected losses. That you followed paths that felt easier when your real path would have been truer, but much harder, and that you are mortal and will have to say goodbye to everything and everyone you truly love, which should only immeasurably enhance your very love of those things and those people.

You have to be willing to die to live.

Dr. Keith Ablow

Lil F***er got me last night > - l

Damn little rat bas***d.  Bit so deep in my finger that he was just hanging there.  #^%*&
Yes...he's still alive...I didn't kill him.  Blood everywhere though.  Fang is out...Lil F***er is in! 

Chuckles and Fang

Ok...I have discussed my husband Erik, my dog Loki and my cat Jessie.  Now it's the gerbils turn.

I got my gerbils before I got Loki.  Why?  Because I wanted a dog.  Erik wouldn't let me get a dog, so I got gerbils.  (Prior to this...it was fish...long story...maybe some other time).  S'anyway...my dear little gerbils.  One is named Chuckles...he is a sandy brown adorable little gerbil who got the name Chuckles because he would run as fast as he could in the wheel then stop running.  The wheel continued to rock and he would sit there I swear 'chuckling'.  Chuckles he was. 

Fang on the other hand....he's the black gerbil.  Let's see if you can guess how I came up with that name?  Hmmm...well let's see...it was either Fang or Lil F***er....(I even considered Lil Bas***d but didn't think it was fair to his mother since I didn't know her and didn't want to judge).  I finally decided on Fang since I knew with all my nieces and nephews coming by and visiting, they might ask me their names and I didn't think Lil F***er was appropriate.  Fang he was. 

This is Chuckles

This is Fang.

I've had Chuckles and Fang for a little over 2 years.  They have a 2-5 year life expectancy and so far they're both hanging in there just fine.  In all fairness...Fang has become a little more mellow when it comes to biting.  Now he just nibbles.  No blood involved.  He still fights me when I try to pick him up, but I'm a lot more stubborn (and bigger) than him.  I WILL win!  Chuckles on the other hand...he's my little bubby...he's the sweetheart of the two.  It's a total joy to watch him play. 

Something new just recently happened and I felt the need to write about it.  These two have lived together in total happiness with each other all this time.  One day, I noticed that they were each sleeping on opposite ends of the tank.   (I chose a tank over a cage...much easier to keep the area around it clean).  That has NEVER happened.  They have always slept together in a little cave that they make each time I clean out the tank.  Now, if Chuckles went anywhere near Fang, Fang would start chasing him and Chuckles would go flying across the tank.  What the hell?!?!?!  So I did some research.  Not to get into too much lengthy detail...what is going on is Fang is de-clanning Chuckles.  I had to separate them or Fang would most likely kill Chuckles.  This apparently is quite common. 

They actually suggest getting a couple of 'pups' and put one in with each gerbil and they won't get lonely.   Ummmm....let's see....so...I get 2 more gerbils and put one in each tank with each gerbil.  So when they eventually de-clan, I'll go from 4 gerbils to what...8 gerbils!?!??!?!?!  REALLY?!?!??!?!  No...just ain't happenin!  It was also suggested to get a couple of females.  Ok...let's think about that.  Female gerbils can have 7 babies at a time...several times a year.  I could have hundreds of gerbils by the end of the year.  Uh....I'm afraid I'm gonna have a couple of lonely gerbils.  I try to give them as much attention as I can, but they just ain't gettin no company.  (I did try putting Chuckles back in with Fang after a day or so, but when Chuckles went flying across the tank again, I thought better of it). 

Now what I find is the funny part...apparently, they each had a specific job to do when building their 'sleeping quarters'.  Fang chewed everything up and Chuckles put the 'cave' together.  I never really thought much of it till I separated them.  Now, it's just too funny.  I look in each tank and Fang has his stuff all chewed up but not really what you would call a home...it was kind of scattered.  Chuckles paper and stuff was still all in one piece but put together (although kinda lookin like a worn down shack) into a little cave. 

                                          This is Fang's home.

                                          This is Chuckles home.

Animals are such funny little creatures.  They each have their own little personalities and they really are such a joy to watch.  Dogs, cats, gerbils...even fish. 
All creatures great and small, God made them all. 

Beautiful day!

It's Saturday morning and we woke up to the sun shining.  We opened all the blinds in the RV and the sky is blue and it's gorgeous outside.  We're gonna go for a long walk later.  Erik fixed all the leaky problems yesterday and we can finally relax.

Yesterday we went to this RV place to get the part he needed (J & J RV).  Nice people...huge dealership!  It was cold and gray yesterday and I had doubled up with a sweatshirt and jacket cause it was pretty windy too.  I went in with Erik to just look around a little.  Seeing nothing of interest I asked him for the keys so I could sit out in the warm car with the dog while he finished up.  He looked at me funny and says 'but I want to go look at some of the RV's'...I'm like 'huh?!?...why???'  He says 'we're here to have fun aren't we?'  Once again... 'huh?!?!?'  His idea of fun and my idea of fun are two totally different things. 

Sooooooo....we finish up and walk out to the lot.  I think I mentioned that this place was HUGE...I'm not exagerating (sp?).  We walk and he's stopping to take pictures of all the older RV's while I'm shivering behind him.  We get to this one that he had seen on the website and he is excitedly walking around it snapping pictures while I'm standing between two RV's trying to keep the wind from blowing me away.  (I'm a big girl so it tells u how windy it would have to be to blow me away).  He tells me to go back to the car and wait and he'll meet me there later.  So without further ado, I shivered my way back to the car. 

It was quite a walk so I decided I would just take the car and pick him up and we could just drive from RV to RV.  I drive back to the spot he was at and he's no longer there.  So I continue driving around for a good five minutes with no luck.  I finally see him back up near the building and he looks exasperated.  I open the car door so he can take over the driving and his eyes are practically bulging out of the sockets.  He says 'didn't u see me behind you running and waving my hands?  I was yelling and you just kept going....you turned the corner and I run to meet you and you turned the next corner.  Don't you ever look in your rearview mirror?'  He wasn't yelling, just speaking AT me.  lol! 

So anyway, he takes over the driving and we go from RV to RV while he takes pictures.  Neither one of us realized how big this place was, it just kept going and going.  They had all these really old RV's that Erik was just fascinated with.  I'm not saying they weren't interesting, but I just didn't see the big deal.  We FINALLY get done and then he decides he wants to see them from the other side of the fence (there was like a little frontage road outside of the dealership that on the other side of it was a huge vehicle dump.  Now THAT was fascinating.  All the trucks and cars that were left there to die.  :-(  It was almost sad to look at.  I told Erik that at least they have friends to hang with...I know, I'm pathetic, but it's me).  So, while he's looking at the RV's from the backside, I'm looking at the vehicle dump.  We get done there and head back to the campsite.  We've had our 'fun' for the day.  :-)

When we got back, while Erik worked on the water pipe, I took Loki over to the field and let her run.  The sky was looking pretty nasty and the wind was really picking up.  I was actually starting to keep an eye out for funnel clouds.  It rained a little, but nothing serious.  It's supposed to storm tonight...hail and everything, but we're going to enjoy today as much as possible before that starts up.

Take care everyone and God bless!

the next day.....

Well, I don't want to jinx anything, but so far so good.  Erik got the hot water heater going with only a few drips.  Yea...shower time!!  We'll head to the store later to get the correct parts. 

It's nice to just sit and relax now.  Loki has calmed down, Erik has calmed down, all is well in the Andersen RV saga.  :-) 

oh...it's raining.  lol! 

sigh...here we go again :-(

Well...our day went real well all day today, till we got to the campground.  Then all hell broke loose.  I think Erik has about come to his wits end.  We have put out so much time and money into this RV and we know that you have to expect problems on occasion, especially with a used RV, but we thought we had all the kinks and problems worked out.  Last year it was one problem after another with the outside of the rig.  Now the inside has decided to fall apart.  This is what happened when we went to set up:

Erik hooked up the sewer, electric and water.  He found out that the place that winterized the RV had disconnected the water pump and left it running so it's burned out.  After some severe swearing, he calmed down and said it's going to cost a couple hundred dollars, but we can get thru the weekend without it.  Okay...so he does the water heater bypass thing, turns the water on and water comes pouring thru a broken pipe.  Apparently, when it was winterized, there was still water in the pipes and it blew a pipe.  By this time it was 8:30 and the only place open that had a chance of having the part we needed was Farm and Fleet and they closed at 9pm.  Keep in mind, we hadn't had dinner yet.  Erik is a diabetic and he's starting to totally lose it.  So, we run to Farm and Fleet and they don't have the right part, but with help from a wonderful manager, they were able to jeri-rig the part.  (it's temporary, but will get us thru tonight).  There was a restaurant on the way back that we figured we'd just run in and grab something and head back.  The place was closed.  Sooooo, we see a Casey's general store/gas station and go in and get some food.  Not very good food, but food.  Oh...and some booze.  It was needed.  We get back here and finally eat (we hadn't eaten since breakfast and were both getting VERY ummm moody).  It's 9:30pm.  So after numerous times of "ok turn on the water...SHUT IT OFF, SHUT IT OFF!!!", Erik finally gets the piece to work with just a slight dribble.  We're good for now, just can't use the hot water.  (Who needs a shower?!?).  Tomorrow, we'll head to one of the RV dealerships and get the correct part and hopefully things will go smoother.  Happy Birthday Erik...hopefully tomorrow will go better.